Why I Didn’t Punch The Old Lady In The Face

“I’m Not Rude, I’m Just Crusty” -Roseanne Connor at her waitress job

I sing at a local restaurant sometimes, a nice bar/grill kind of place with a “Cheers” vibe–you know, “where everybody knows your name.” The waitresses, who have been there forever, are a bit crusty. One such waitress, who shall remain nameless, but let’s just say the name fits her…like if she were named Gertrude…and let’s emphasize the “rude” part.

She said, “Robin, have you lost weight?” and I said “yeah, I’ve been doing this diet, I’m down about 20 pounds.”  “Oh,” she says. “Are you always this pale??” I could do her voice for you, it’s kinda gruff. Matches her looks…and her name.

It took it a moment to register, as if I had been punched in the face. I didn’t even know what to say (and I’m pretty sure I just muttered something like, “I don’t know” and trailed off). As I said, she is a waitress and I’m pretty sure she had a salad plate or something in her hand to take to a table, so the conversation just sort of ended like that.

After I realized what had just happened, instead of kicking out her knee and putting her in a choke-hold, I decided to take it as a lesson. I make my own makeup and not every batch is identical. Maybe I should check the shade of my makeup and see if I am perhaps, a bit pale. Or add some bronzer to my daily routine. Whatever. While it was extremely rude, in my opinion, I just brushed it off as something I maybe needed to know, and most people won’t say “hey, you know you kinda look almost clear, I think you need a tan.” So, lady-without-a-filter, thanks. Ya crusty old bat.